It's been a while. Like, months. As with so many other things in my life, my commitment has waned. Both in writing this blog, but also in the eating disciplines I was so actively pursuing. It's so easy to get sidetracked. The reason I'm back, if I'm honest, is because I underestimated the level of accountability writing this blog offered me. When I was writing regularly about the virtues of eating healthy, natural foods...i found it much more difficult to down a large order of onion rings for lunch (like I did today). I may be a hypocrite, but even I have my limits. Some things remain true. When I eat poorly, I feel like crap. When I feel like crap, I'm not that much fun to be around. When I'm not that much fun to be around, I go into a bit of isolation. When I'm in isolation, I eat like crap...and we're off.
Another thing I've learned (or rather, been reminded of) is that eating out is not helpful. I love to eat out. I love the social aspect of it. Truthfully, I would probably have just as much fun I was just sipping a Coke (I know, I know...processed food alert. Right now, I'm seriously over it) while everyone else was eating. When you eat out, you eat more food and you eat less-healthy food. There are multiple studies to back this up, as well as my own experiences over the last two months. Bring a lunch, bonehead (me...not you).
When I began this blog a few months back, I promised to be honest when I ate a burger or pizza or whatever. Neither you or I have time for that right now, because the list is long. It's not that I've abandoned eating healthy...the gray areas have just gotten a lot bigger. I want that to change.
I was feeling the burden to wrench myself back on track so much that I began fasting this week. Often times I find that the discipline of fasting brings me much nearer to the heart of God, and that, in turn, has a positive impact on my behavior. So, I thought fasting would be helpful to try and restore some sense of balance and health. I quit a day-and-a-half into it. I've been feeling the burn of failure a lot lately.
So, my friends, please forgive me. I lied and cheated. And I hid...I think I've been avoiding this blog because I wanted to get it all back together again before I resurfaced in this arena. I was done in by the onion rings. Today, things change.